Monastics in the World: Steps Toward Oblation - Lesson 3
I don't think I can cite a single inspiration or a time that I began to feel a draw towards a life of prayer and closeness to God. Rather it has been with me for quite some time now. Maybe it was begun by my father saying a bedtime prayer with me as a young child, but I have long felt an impulse for a life of prayer and drawing near to God. It's only grown stronger with time.
It is ironic, because I was raised Lutheran, and Luther had little use for monastics. He famously said in a sermon that the barmaid does more and greater good works, and he would trust her more when she unloads a cart of supplies for her tavern, than if all the Carthusian monks were to kill themselves with all their singing. Luther was not lukewarm on the subject, and so neither are the Lutherans in general. For my desire to lead a quiet, separate life of prayer, I got around that attitude by saying it would be nice to operate a "retreat center" but I would have run it like a monastery: the hours would be prayed, meals taken in common, dress code, manual work, silence, etc.
But I am a family man of little means, so buying a large property and erecting my dream pseudo-monastery would never be realized, and I knew that. But that didn't stop the desire. So we instituted a "Family Altar" time and every evening we put candles on the coffee table, read some devotional material, said prayers and sent the kids off to bed. The routine grants some stability to our always-changing lives. Over time we added a crucifix, then a couple icons, and now we have a very nice "prayer corner" and it has become my favorite room in the house.
Having become Orthodox, and gaining a new understanding of Prayer as Communion with God, prayer has become even more important to me. I think I always knew there was more to it that what I learned as a Lutheran, but it wasn't a conscience thought I could articulate. I just knew that the Jesus prayer was changing my world, and increased general prayers were also bringing peace. My new understanding, coupled with Saint Seraphim's admonition to "acquire the Spirit of Peace" has led me to my current position on the road of salvation where, even if I can't be a monk shut away on a mountainside somewhere, I can do my part as salt and light in the world with frequent prayer and trying to exude peace to those around me.
2. How do I plan to go about dwelling “in God’s sanctuary,” while living my life in the “home, the forum, or even the theater”?
This is certainly a challenge in our modern culture of constant noise and distraction. Met. Anthony Bloom wrote in "Beginning to Pray" that we can't stand even five minutes of silence with ourselves, or anyone else, for that matter. Having jobs and relationships in the world, I have to interact with the world, but as an oblate, I need to be intentional about guarding myself against the spirit and mind of the world. As Fr. Josiah Trenham recently remarked in a sermon: It's not enough to avoid participation in the "mind of the world," but I must actively resist. My active resistance takes the form of creating quiet solitude where ever I am able in order to step into "God's Sanctuary." This could be driving with the radio off, cutting the grass with earmuffs on, taking a short break in an unused conference room or even a stairwell, and in all of these moments of respite, to say the Jesus prayer or some other prayer to God and truly be present in that moment.
Even in those places and times when I can't create quiet, if I carry in my heart "psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs" and try to "pray without ceasing," this will help me maintain closeness and communion with God through the midst of life's hustle and bustle.
3. To what degree do I allow the testimony of the Scriptures to shape and govern my life, my family, and my work?
The goal is 100%, but I know I don't reach it by a long shot. Add improper understanding to my general shortcoming, and we get farther away from the mark. The Church has helped me correct my course and, especially in my interpersonal dealings, God has helped me to see others as people He loves. That aspect has been blessed with improvement that outpaces my workplace performance. I work in IT, which can often be lonely and detached, and I really like interacting with people, so I struggle there. My prayers include asking God to make me the person other people need me to be according to that vocation; dad, husband, employee, etc.
4. Compare the description of the Jerusalem Church in Acts 2 with your experience of the Church. How might oblation in the spirit of St Benedict change the way things are right now?
Selling their belongings and having all things in common is the cenobitic way of life, and to me it sounds wonderful. Compared to my own experience of the Church, obviously we don't all do that. We live in the world and we work and raise families in our communities. Great and Holy Lent, Holy Week, and Pascha, which we just finished, come the closest to Act 2 Church, in my experience. We meet many days of the week for services and fellowship and mutual struggles. I am always melancholy when bright week comes and the frequent assembly with my brothers and sisters comes to an end. The tomb stands empty...and so does my calendar.
But every Lord's Day, we do still gather to continue in the Apostles' teaching, the fellowship, the breaking of the bread, and ταῖς προσευχαῖς, the prayers, the Liturgy.
As an Oblate, although my monastic community is at a distance, spiritually we have "all things in common" in that we pray together, communicate with each other, and that I try to send material support to them as I am able. I think that also in the local parish, the Benedictine spirit, the guidance of The Rule helps me to be more truly present with my fellow parishioners and to manifest the monastic community among them. It heightens how I see them, the importance I place on being with them, the support I give them materially and (especially) spiritually, and it keeps me in mind of my need to welcome them as Christ and to prefer nothing above the work of God with and for them.
5. Do you practice a form of prayer like the Jesus Prayer or the repetitive prayer described by Abba Isaac? Why or why not?
YES! What could be better than to employ the tools received from my fathers, tools with proven history? I don't make up new liturgies every week. Similarly, I don't need to make up my own prayers every time. Of course there are times when I have the environment and devotion of mind to speak to God freely from my heart about things, to give thanks or make petition or intercede for situations with specific details, but as I go about daily life and I desire to be in communion with God via prayer, the Jesus prayer fits the bill perfectly.In Information Technology we have a tool for monitoring system responsiveness called a "Heartbeat." If the system has a good heartbeat, we can tell at a glance that is is up, available, and communicating with the central servers. Even if the majority of the processing power is employed on other tasks, the heartbeat maintains contact.
The Jesus prayer is my heartbeat, my tie back to God whilst I cannot give 100% of my brain power and attention to Him alone. It also works great as intercession for others by the small alteration of replacing "me a sinner" with a person's name. "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on Susie." If I lifted up the specifics of my prayer for Susie at an early time, then I can use this modification to continue my prayer for her without concerning myself about being eloquent or wording things in a correct and interesting way. God knows.
The Jesus prayer, the hourly prayers of St. John Chrysostom, and other brief prayers are rightly called "arrow prayers" in that they allow us to shoot off a note to God, to stay connected to Him, while we do the work of our vocations in the places where He has called and placed us. They are a priceless treasure handed down to us from our Mother the Church, along with longer prayers, prayer hours, hymns, and liturgy.
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